A Dismissed Dream
That’s exactly what this was to me. A dream that felt and seemed so ridiculously out of reach that I couldn’t find a single reason to hold onto it. I shoved it away, told myself not to be silly, and focused on my life.
Now, please don’t get me wrong here. I have a gorgeous life and I’m incredibly grateful for it. I have a wonderful, supportive family. I’m the eldest of seven children, so I’ve spent many-an-evening sat at a rowdy, chaotic dinner table, my own thoughts drowned out by bickering siblings. It sounds wild, and probably not ideal for everyone, but I love nothing more than being surrounded by them. I have my partner, who I met and fell in love with during secondary school. He’s the one who pushes me forward, cheers me on and showers me with kisses. He also leaves me notes in the mornings and pre-made cups of coffee (meaning all I need to do is boil the kettle)! I have my Mum, who I absolutely, utterly adore. Most people pull a face when told they’re anything like their mother (and in some cases, this can be understandable), but being told I’m anything like my Mum is the biggest compliment in the world. She’s magical. Honestly, she is.
So anyway, with my dream cast aside, and now something that I sometimes fantasised about to humour myself, I carried on. I went to college, and then I got a job. I know, right? Riveting! To be completely honest, it wasn’t all that bad. I was happy, I suppose, but not content. I woke up in the morning, caught the bus to work, came home, and then went to sleep, ready for the next day when I’d do it all over again. That was pretty much my routine, my cycle, what I was used to. I moved through a few different jobs, trying different things out, hoping fiercely that I’d find something that I couldn’t get enough of, something that I’d feel passionate about. Sadly, it didn’t come, but I told myself on numerous occasions that there were people who had it so much worse than me, and so, I again soldiered on. I didn’t really have any complaints. I just didn’t feel… fulfilled. Does that make sense?
Eventually, through my love of reading and all things books, I decided to create my book blog Becca’s Books. I would read, review, and share! I loved it from the beginning, and I could never understand why the idea of creating Becca’s Books hadn’t come to me sooner. I enjoyed it immensely. Reading a fantastic novel and then sharing my thoughts was cathartic somehow. If anything, the book blogging spurred on my reading and I was so excited to share more and more reviews with like-minded, wonderful bookish people! In writing my reviews, I began to look more closely at an author’s writing that ever before. I’d always pictured myself as a bit of a storyteller. I’d loved writing in school, even if they were only silly stories about cats travelling to Egypt and exploring ancient pyramids etc.
Now, I was studying books like some sort of mad professor. Eventually, amongst the countless stories that I’d played about with on my laptop, I began one that I took very seriously, one that I became intensely involved with. I created these characters out of my imagination who, as time went by, began to appear very real to me. And that story continued to grow…
As the days went by, an idea began to niggle at me, and gradually, that little dream that I’d locked away in my mind began to creep out from beneath the closed door marked as ‘unreachable’. I went to my day job, I read and, surprisingly, I was still writing my story. I’d never managed to get this far before. This story was special to me. It lingered in my mind long after I’d closed the lid of my laptop and snuggled down in bed. Suddenly, it was all I could think about. And then one day, completely out of the blue, I thought to myself, ‘I wonder if anybody else would feel the same way about my story as I do’. I’d never been much of an achiever. I’d done pretty rubbish in college, but I do think that the courses I chose to study were pointless and had nothing to do with what I actually wanted to do with my life.
After much consideration, and a big gulp, I threw caution to the wind and decided to submit my story. I had nothing to lose, so why not? Well… I hadn’t been expecting to receive the call. Never in my wildest dreams.
I felt, once I’d ended the call, like I was suddenly in some strange dream. I kept thinking, “Did that really just happen to me?” I mean, out of the entire world, a girl living in a small town had received that call? A not-so-special, exciting girl? Offering her a book deal? I couldn’t believe. I still don’t to this day.
What I’m saying is, don’t dismiss your dream. Whether that be to become a top lawyer, a glamorous actress, or even an astronaut! Don’t look at your life and your circumstances and decide that anything is unachievable just because of them. Your circumstances do not define who you are, or what you’re capable of. I’m normal. I’m just your average person, who does average things, like having a bath or drinking a beer. I love pyjamas and takeaway food. I don’t attend sparkly events or make a lot of money. I mean, I’m just me, and if you were to ever see me in the flash, you wouldn’t look twice. I even got told once that I “didn’t look like an author.” Ha, I know. I laughed too.
If you’re reading this, I want you to promise me something. That no matter what, you don’t shove what you want to become to the side. Life is uncertain, crazy and exciting. You can never be sure of what’s around the corner. And take chances! Take loads of them! They’ll lead you to places you never even imagined yourself being. You’ll be shocked at what can happen if you step out of your comfort zone, hold your head high and do something extraordinary. Seriously, trust me on this one.
If you would like to know about Becca's Books or pre-order her debut novel, Return to Bluebell Hill then use the links below: